Who Is Ginger Spice? A Raphmoe Analysis

"Raphmoe" (raphmoe) 11/11/2014 at 09:17 • Filed to: Formula 1, Red Bull, Ginger Spice, Christian Horner, F1, News, Journalism

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Captain's Log, star-date 14.11.2014.

Ginger is a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Ginger or ginger root is the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of the plant !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! officinale, consumed as a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , or !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . It lends its name to its genus and family ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ). Other notable members of this plant family are !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . The distantly related !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! genus have the common name wild ginger because of their similar taste.

Native to parts of China and Asia it is widely used in soups, stews, sushi, foods, and drinks across the world. A common aphrodisiac for some, and a tasty plate cleanser forwho enjoy the delicacy of raw fish known as sushimi.

Now, some of you will say to yourself: self: what does this have to do with cars? It doesn't! But that's why it's on Jalopnik, and that's why you're here: culture is what matters, and Ginger is a part of our culture and more importantly Ginger Spice.

Ginger Spice is native to the islands of the United Kingdom, most notably England and Wales where she was a founding member of the legendary Rock Group: The Spice Girls. Taking the name of a well loved root spice she immediately gained fame and fortune singing songs for young children around the world. While touring the world she met famed Formula 1 team boss Christian Horner; who is essentially the Christian Grey of Formula 1. Will you be my Christian? She said. Oh yes, he will be. He will be.

Just look at that smirk:

Oh, the places they'll come. So, anyway. They have been dating for a while and are now engaged to be man and wife, aka married. Marriage is critical to Formula 1 success, it is why Sebastien Vettel won so many championships when he was married to Mr. Horner but they broke up when poor Sebastien found out about Ginger swooping in and taking his man. Vettel is now seeing Red and will be running with the prancing ponies of Ferrari Italia next season. Game on Seb!

Digression aside, here is the soon to be Mrs. Horner singing a song for her adoring Formula 1 car enthusiast fans (jalops):

Those eyes, them lips, that Union Jack off topic I know, but not really when you consider the implications Ginger Spice now has to motorsport, Formula 1, and us jalops at large.

Will Red Bull return to dominance now that they've increased their stock in red haired beautiful women?

Will Christian Horner continue his dominance as a powerful engineer or will he become The Spice Girls of formula 1; blasting on to the scene as a winnner for front runners, fair weather fans, and people that really have no clue about the sport or music they're in to but think it's cool to root for the popular ones.

What a time to be alive.

Corz > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:23

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I have to wonder, did Christian get with her friends?

Raphmoe > Corz 11/11/2014 at 09:24

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Making last forever, friendship never ends.

Kate's Dirty Sister > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:25

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Geraldine Halliwell, also known as the Titty Spice, was one of the favorite fapping subject among kids of the late 90', also know as the dial-up internet era.

Source : was a teen in the late 90's.

McMike > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:26

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I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

Raphmoe > McMike 11/11/2014 at 09:27

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So,

Tell me what you want,

What you really, really want.

Corz > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 09:31

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She single handedly started Corz through puberty

McMike > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:33

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I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna

Kate's Dirty Sister > Corz 11/11/2014 at 09:36

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McMike > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 09:40

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I called her "skanky spice," and she was my favorite. Because who really picks posh, sporty, scary, or baby when there's skanky on the table?

I also had no idea "Ginger" was a derogatory term for redheads at the time. I just thought it was a clever spin on spices.

I was in my late 20s.

Kate's Dirty Sister > McMike 11/11/2014 at 09:42

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Baby was not bad too, depending on the video.

Sporty was my least favorite.

For Sweden > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:48

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Like many drivers, she settled for Christian Horner when she couldn't get Paddy Lowe

BrtStlnd > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:50

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Kudos for "Union Jack off"

So does this mean Andy Dalton can be the next Ginger Spice?

Raphmoe > BrtStlnd 11/11/2014 at 09:54

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If he works hard enough, yes.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 09:54

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This is a work of art.

But Scary Spice is the hottest, present day

Kate's Dirty Sister > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 11/11/2014 at 09:57

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Agree

McMike > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 09:59

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Hi, I'm 12 years old.

Kate's Dirty Sister > McMike 11/11/2014 at 10:03

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Perfect

McMike > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 10:04

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JerkinJesus.gif

Takuro Spirit > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 11:02

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Actually today's Star Date is 68327.7

http://trekguide.com/Stardates.htm

Jonathan Harper > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 17:11

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Confirmed. My dial up connection took forever to load a photo of her bust. Partially because the connection was terrible, and partially because her bust is vast.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 17:11

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He should start by working on some breast implants.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe 11/11/2014 at 17:13

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I was the kid who never knew lyrics, but always pretended to.

QCGoose > Kate's Dirty Sister 11/11/2014 at 23:10

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Can confirm this, as I was entering puberty when the Spice Girls were popular. Ohhhh Ginger Spice, you were quite the crush of mine.

Damn she's still smokin' hot after all these years.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper 11/12/2014 at 08:27

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I am an ass man.